Stop Approaching

This post is inspired by a comment that was recently left on my site by “Omega2Alpha”:

One thing I’ve wondered about you- how often do you go out and how many approaches do you do?

I’ll tell you how many “approaches” I do: zero.

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What do most guys on the mano-andro-misogyosphere think of when they hear about “approaches”?

I am going to assume that this commenter, like 99% of casual PUA/game guys, think of approaches like a level in a videogame.

There is a “target” across the room.

You stand there dragging each foot in the dirt like a bull getting revved up to charge.

Then, once you work up the courage to fight the knots in your stomach– what all of your “inner game” exercises have prepared you for– you begin walking across the room, before hitting the girl with an “opener,” and if you’re a real expert, doing it over your shoulder and quickly offering a false time constraint.

I don’t “approach” girls. I work a room, I put forth a vibe. Sometimes girls come to me, or put themselves in my radius. It’s a fluid experience, because I don’t let myself stop to think about it, or plot my next move. I stay “in state.”

How many girls do I talk to in a night?

All of them. Or damn close.

When I find the right opportunity to talk to a hot girl, or one who I can see is the most fun (horny) there, I’ll spend some time and play it out.

When you’re truly mastering the game, your mind is a supercomputer, analyzing hundreds of factors on the fly and pushing you toward the most efficient outcome of your goals.

The idea of “approaching” becomes too slow. But when conversations emerge organically, you lock in and go to work. The chess match begins, and you’re fucking Kasparov.

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And the answer to the first part of the question is philosophically similar. I’m not sure how many times a week I “go out” because it’s never that formal. It’s seamless with what’s going on in my life. If I’m out to dinner with friends and start talking to some girls, does that mean I went “out” that night?

How often do I go out just to pick up chicks? Maybe once or twice a month. Even then, I might be just kicking it with some friends primarily.

I have a good track record when I go out solely for the purpose of picking up, whether solo or with wingmen. However, since I have a few girls in my rotation and keep a busy schedule (which includes weekly opportunities to meet new girls), I don’t push myself too hard to continually go out and hunt. But I usually get numbers everywhere I go, so it all depends whether you can see the opportunities around you… at the grocery store, laundromat, STD clinic, etc.

For guys who are still developing their game and are not yet sexually satisfied, it makes more sense to challenge yourself and keep pushing each night. We all have our own needs and balance to negotiate.

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I realize that I’ve reached a point in my game where much of it is internalized, so I know it seems more seamless to me now than it once did. I don’t want to short-change guys who still need everything broken down for them like I once did. I don’t want to be Assanova, shitting all over game while thriving from embodying everything game tells you to be.

However, I think it would be helpful to those guys who are building up the idea of “approaches” in their head to stop thinking about them so formally, like each one is a test with a beginning,
middle, and end. That is just raising the pressure and setting yourself up for failure.

True game comes from having the mechanics in your head, but presenting a dynamic (meaning: constantly in motion), free-flowing image of yourself to the world. It has to be organic and alive. This is what shines a light on your alpha, creating a magnetism that people around you will be drawn to.